


June 26th, 2015

by icebucky



Category: Supernatural
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Marriage Equality, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 14:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4224885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icebucky/pseuds/icebucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's known for a while that he's in love with Cas, but it takes a push in the right direction to get him to *really* do anything about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	June 26th, 2015

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the historic events of 6/25/15, where marriage equality became legal all across the United States. I was feeling the deancas.

Dean's known for a while that he's in love with Cas.

He may not have had the courage to do anything about it, but he's known about it.

It's not something they talk about, the feelings, the implications behind the things that they do, but there's something there, something that Dean's scared to mention for fear of shattering the carefully reconstructed relationship that he has with the angel.

Castiel means a lot to him.

Castiel isn't just Castiel, not anymore. Castiel is Cas. Cas is a guy who likes bees and sweaters and stars, who can't deal with humanity until he has a cup of coffee in him, who gets ridiculous bedhead and is grumpy in the morning and hogs the blankets and is a fucking shirt thief.

Cas is a guy who Dean can't get enough of, who Dean wants to touch, who Dean lingers on the edge of beginning something with and has been for the past nearly six years, it's been almost _six years_ since he met Cas, and he still hasn’t done anything about it.

Well, nothing if you don't bring up Purgatory.

Purgatory was the start of yet another thing that they don’t talk about. Dean's actually pretty pleased that Sam never asks him about it, never made him elaborate more than the recap of what was there and how he got out. After all, Sam's been there himself, so there was no need for Dean to tell him more about his life in there, right?

No need to let Sam in on the intimate details, of the way that Dean was willing to stay in there an entire year just to get Cas out with him. He could've left the minute he met Benny, he could have found that hole and wormed his way through it, no problem. Cas left him, after all. Cas zapped away and left Dean there, alone, when he knew that they could have been safer together. But no, Dean went looking for him. It took him months, but he was willing to fight every damn monster in that forest to get to his angel. 

That was a different Dean, a different day. A different Cas, and a different time. It was okay there, for them to be close. It was okay for them to hold onto each other's arms for a bit too long, because Cas was the only person in that entire place who Dean was certain he trusted. And Dean knows, without a doubt, that Cas trusts him unconditionally; he did in Purgatory and he does now.

He trusted Dean enough to the point that he put himself on the line and kissed the shit out of him one day against a tree. They stayed there, Dean's hands fisted in Cas' hair, Cas' hands roaming up and down Dean's torso underneath his jacket, until they heard something approaching from behind them and broke apart, lips swollen, pupils blown and hair a wreck.

It was only Benny, who had given them a knowing look and continued on their path.

That kiss, the one that not another living soul knew about, was the one that started all this. The one that made the elbow touching and the pinky linking under the table all okay. The one that lets them linger in their Purgatory fantasy, that let them say that it's okay, they don’t have to tell anyone, they should just be happy with what they have, because they could be dead tomorrow.

Dean's known for a while that he's in love with Cas, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean he has to admit it.

It's late June, and he and Sam are having their morning coffee in the bunker, when his phone buzzes. Glancing down, he reads that apparently, Barack Obama, Ruby Rose, and Pete Wentz are tweeting about #SCOTUS, but brushes it aside. Whatever it is, it can wait until after coffee.

Sam's on the computer, tapping away at a case, his phone pinging occasionally, but he studiously ignores it as Cas comes down the stairs.

Dean looks over his shoulder and his stomach tightens. The fucker's been in his laundry again, as evidenced by the ragged Zeppelin shirt and the gray sweatpants. His hair's a mess, and he still looks exhausted, but he makes his way over to the coffee pot, breaking the morning silence with a cheerful "Good morning, Dean. Good morning, Sam."

Across the table, Sam smiles, eyes still on his computer. "Morning, Cas."

"Hey," Dean says, toasting Cas with his mug. The corner of Cas' mouth jerks upward, and he pours himself a cup.

Dean's phone buzzes again. And again. Cas sits down between the brothers, inhaling his coffee. He's in a good mood this morning, Dean muses, staring in the least subtle way possible, but is interrupted by his phone going off, yet again.

"Are you planning on answering that, Dean?" Cas asks, reaching across the table to grab Dean's phone. Dean almost protests, half-heartedly grabbing for it again, but Cas jerks it away from him and swipes the screen, tapping in Dean's passcode without a second thought.

There's a moment of silence, Sam looking up out of the corner of his eye and Cas' eyes fixed on the screen, Dean's eyes fixed on Cas. Then, Cas says, "Oh."

"What?" Dean asks, hoping to an absent God that Cas didn’t find the playlist titled _for his dumb pimp car_. Cas raises his eyes, flicks them to Dean, then focuses on Sam.

"The Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. As of today, same-sex marriage is legal across the United States." He won't look at Dean.

A smile breaks across Dean's face. "Whoa, that's awesome." He raises his mug, still half-grinning. "To gay marriage."

Sam laughs (really, it's more of a nose exhale than a laugh), and raises his mug as well. "Gay marriage."

Cas squints for a moment, then does the same, adding, "I suppose it should technically be referred to as just 'marriage', now, but I agree with the sentiment. Marriage." Their mugs clink in the air, and it's strange not feeling the bite of alcohol as he swigs from his cup, but Dean doesn’t mind.

Marriage. Huh.

It's not until later that night, when he's already made out with Cas in the garage after they're sure Sam's in his room, and Dean's back in his own room, brushing his teeth, that he has the staggering though of _what am I doing?_

They've had this silent standing arrangement for years, no questions asked, but now, for some reason, it hits him. He's blown away by the idea that he's never even given this much thought before. Fuck, he's stupid.

He's in love with Cas. He knows he's in love with Cas. He makes out with Cas. He wants to share a room with Cas, he wants to wake up next to Cas, he wants to bump elbows in the bathroom with Cas. He wants a house and a cat and a garden with Cas. He wants to argue about healthy eating and curtains and whether or not the next door neighbors are assholes.

Dean breathes in sharply. He wants to spend the rest of his life, however short it might be, with Cas.

Goddammit, he wants to  _marry_ Cas.

There are so many things wrong with this thought. He's a hunter. They're in the middle of apocalypse-level shit. They could die any day now. He doesn’t have any real money, Cas doesn’t exist in the eyes of the government.

But then again, a small voice in the back of his head argues, if not now, when?

Dean grips the edges of the sink, breathing slowly, trying to steady himself. He's never given marriage much thought, not before today, not even when he was in that long term relationship with Lisa. They talked about it a few times, but nothing really was resolved, and he knew that she could tell that he wasn’t ready.

He probably never would have been ready with her. She wasn’t _it_ for him.

Cas is  _it_.

Dean clenches his right fist, spits out what's left of his toothpaste, takes a swig of whiskey, and leaves the bathroom before he has a chance to change his mind.

Cas chose the room directly across the hall from Dean, when he moved in shortly after Dean lost the Mark. He said that it was because he liked to know where the Winchesters were, but Dean knows that it's because he wanted to be there if Dean had a nightmare. He's been there many times, before Sam was, waking and quieting Dean before Sam got up. Cas is always there for him. Dean stops at the door and almost knocks, but changes his mind and barges in.

The angel is sitting up in bed, reading, the bedside lamp on. He looks up as the door bursts open, immediately diverting all his attention to Dean. "Dean?" he asks, his voice colored with concern. "Is everything alright?"

Dean takes a deep, steadying breath. "Yeah, Cas, it's fine," he gets out, and Cas manages to mark his place in the book and put it aside before Dean surges forward, taking Cas' face in his hands and kissing him, pushing him up against the wall in an attempt to get closer.

"Fuck it," Dean whispers against his mouth, and he can hear Cas hum appreciatively, reaching up and touching Dean's jaw gently. He pulls his mouth away from Dean's, but keeps their foreheads touching, their noses close. 

"What?" he asks, blue eyes locked on Dean's. "What's wrong?"

Dean can't help it, he can't stop smiling. "Nothing's wrong, Cas, I just -" He turns his head to the side. Takes a deep breath. _Go for it, you'll hate yourself if you don’t._ "I know this is spur of the moment, and I don't even have a ring, but -"

He pulls farther away and closes his eyes. When he opens them, Cas is looking at him, looking into him, an expression of adoration on his face.

"Shit, I don’t - I don’t even have you, not really, but, what I'm, what I'm trying to say is, Cas, I -"

"Yes," Cas rushes out, leaning forward and staring more intently at Dean. "Yes."

Dean laughs, adding, "You didn’t even let me finish!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Cas retorts, smiling. "Would you like to continue?"

Dean grins, looking down at his hands. His mother's ring is on his right hand. He hasn’t taken this off since he was ten, but he's going to choose to take this as a sign.

He looks up at Cas again.

"Will you," he begins, taking the ring off his finger and sliding off the bed, getting on one knee next to Cas, "Castiel, angel of the Lord, do me a solid and marry the asshole kneeling in front of you?"

Cas has his hands pressed to his mouth and he started nodding before Dean even finishes, but as soon as Dean's done speaking, he bursts out, "Yes. One hundred percent. Yes."

"Really?" Dean asks, a little astonished. He knows Cas said yes before, but it's not the same as when he did after the question was finished.

"Yes, really," Cas replies, grabbing Dean's collar and pulling him up. There's a pause, a shaky and adrenaline filled one, as Dean slips his mom's ring onto Cas' finger. Holy shit. This is really happening.

"God, I love you," Dean whispers, eyes directed to Cas' hands. Cas reaches over and tucks his finger under Dean's chin, lifting his head so that their eyes meet.

"I would burn cities for you, Dean Winchester," Cas says fiercely, and Dean swears that the part of him that remembers being a demon can see Castiel's true form again, just for a moment.

"Cas…" Dean says, and he tries to put everything he feels into that one word, the word that means so much to him, the word that singularly summarizes the man sitting in front of him, the word that is Cas.

But he can't say it in the same way Cas can, not with as much sincerity, so instead, he reaches up and touches Cas' face, thumb stroking the side of his jaw, and simply says, "I need you."

And in the language of Winchesters, that's more than enough.


End file.
